| Big Lie? or alternatively, The Hoax is afoot. You can slap me now. |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|11:29 pm] |
So since I haven't updated in a really long time, I thought I'd spend this post talking about Bigfoot. If you haven't heard, two guys have claimed to have found the body of Bigfoot in the woods of northern Georgia. It's on BBC here and on CNN here. Anyway, I attended the press conference today and did some live updates for an almost no-traffic website, followed by a hastily written article here. Check it out. I was on NBC 11 news tonight, looking like somebody who is being surrounded by too many people trying to get the same exclusive press photos, except I was doing it sans press credentials. Eventually Michael just shoved his student ID card in Tom Biscardi's face and muttered something in an English accent and managed to get the photos.
Anyway, what do you guys think? Speaking from a non-bigfoot enthusiast perspective, it's totally a hoax guys. Like honestly. The other guy (Rick Dyer) was laughing his ass off during the press conference, presumably because he somehow managed to fool dozens of reporters into showing up to a phony conference about a man in a suit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|05:37 pm] |
i've been la-la-la ing for the the past week and now all my work is catching up with me. fuck.. anyway.
my mom came to visit me and that was awesome. omg sooo much food was made in this house. probably more than has been made all year, combined. also i found out so much California gossip. like affairs, and pot, and severe eating disorders. crazy shit coming from people that seemed so normal.
so now i have this essay on my hands and i just cannot bring myself to write on restoration comedy. also i have this fuck-off test in philosophy on monday. and i somehow have to come up with all of my research notes to present to the class on thursday for social anthropology. Note: I HAVE NOT DONE ANY RESEARCH.
oh, and to top it all off the "i" key on my keyboard is fucked up. frustrations is settling in. it takes me three times to be able to type a fucking "i." an I for goodness sake.
i think i'll go get drunk. joke. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2008|08:29 pm] |
the following entry is a preamble to tomorrow's entry, which will undoubtedly be much more entertaining than this one:
Michael wants to let it be known that he is NOT in fact a twelve year old boy.
Eneida says, 'take that, jennifer!'
Omg my jello just broke into two separate pieces. This calls for: more jello.
My jello is jellying everywhere.
guys i am writing a philosophy paper for a philosophy class: Here is a story. English* is identical to English. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2007|12:58 am] |
Last night I had this strange dream that I had been poisoned with quinine by this really attractive male. He stood at the top of a staircase and dropped a syringe-type thing onto my arm at a party. And then I had vision impairment and felt generally drugged up. And then I forgot my niece and my nephew and found them a day later at a park, alone, crying because it had been cold at night and they had to sleep outside. And then to protect them from this drug man I took them to my flat but couldn't find my keys and my neighbour had to help me out. My neighbour in the dream was not my neighbour in real life.
It was a really fucking strange dream. I mean, quinine poisoning? Quinine. Quinine.
I looked up quinine poisoning this morning and found that one of the symptoms is indeed blindness.
Quinine.
I am at home now. Spent a few days in a beautiful house in Tahoe that we rented for the christmas weekend.
But now I am bored bored bored with no snow and no alcohol and no friends. I have no friends. Here or in St Andrews. I am such a loser, really guys. Like I have friends, but I never talk to them. I am friendless in multiple continents. Do you understand that? Multiple continents. Multiple countries really because when I go to Mexico I also have no friends. No friends.
That's not true. I actually do have friends. I mean a few key good friends. Is it sad that basically my only good friend at home is the person who lives with me? I swear there are days at a time where we don't leave the flat. We just sit around and eat and watch CSI and do no work. And it's awesome.
Michael and I are planning a romantic trip to Paris. Haha that was the biggest lie ever. Bigger than the "I kind of have friends" lie.
No it's actually a trip but come on. It's not going to be the cheesy lovey dovey rose-petals-on-the-sheets-in-the-shape-of-a-heart type of trip. We're generally interested in French culture and architecture and history. Haha, that was kind of a lie too. No we really just want to go see paris. I mean we've both been to paris before but not in a sort of relaxed, casual way. So I'm pretty excited for it.
We're staying in a "gay-friendly" hotel because it was the cheapest option. No joke.
We're not really sure what "gay-friendly" means, but we're willing to take our chances for the good price. And it's central, so that's a plus. A gay-friendly, central hotel in Paris. What a trip.
Speaking of trip. I really want to do some drugs right now. |
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| moderately offensive post. |
[Dec. 12th, 2007|05:54 pm] |
I will be home next saturday. I love love love christmas shopping. I'm also really liking school. I feel bad for all of you out there still trying to fill 'core' requirements. Because here, nobody even knows what the word 'core' means. You just choose what you want to do and if you suck at it they kick you out. And that's the way all schools should be. Fuck math. I mean, I'm sure math is great for those with the adequate skills. But I still have trouble with my "7's" in multiplication tables. No joke. And also how about that science? How's that going for you? Because I haven't stepped foot in a lab for a year and a half. I LOVE the arts. Some of you harsh motherfuckers may call them "fuzzy" subjects, but English and Social Anthropology are amazing here. My tutor in English is this slightly camp old man who makes Milton into a rich, literary paradise. (Pun very much intended). So fuck everyone who thinks i'm taking useless subjects because while you're stuck in a lab or working tirelessly on a problem set, I'm casually sipping a vodka and coke and typing up responses to timeless works of art.
I'm not sure what the point of the above rant was. Basically, you do your thing and I'll do mine. Have fun.
But besides that, as usual guys there's nothing interesting going on on this side of the globe. I mean like it's cool and all but I can't wait to go home and see my family. and my friends of course. I got drunk the other day (surprise?) and facebook friended my brother. THANK GOODNESS I was still semi-coherent enough to check him under the "limited" profile page so he can't see any of my photos, my wall posts, my personal info, etc. Because goodness knows what kind of catastrophic damage that would do to my inter-family reputation. I mean seriously guys, I'm not saying I'm some sort of alcoholic whore who goes around breaking shit and causing trouble, but some of those photos might suggest that I am indeed an entirely different person. It's just that they are taken at opportune times. Like if someone took a photo of you at the exact moment that you were just 'casually' passing through a room full with loads of empty alcohol bottles, you'd look like an alcoholic too.
But i mean of course you wouldn't be. Because I'm pretty sure that if ANYONE took the title of "borderline alcoholic," it'd be me. I'm not saying that I'm an alcoholic, because come on guys I'm not in rehab, but I do some heavy drinking. But HEY, where do you think I live? I mean, you can't expect me to come to scotland and not drink, it'd be like going to paris and not seeing the eiffel tower, or meeting hugh laurie and not jumping his bones. It's just what's expected of me.
Does it make me an alcoholic to make excuses for my drinking?
Does she need help? Isn't that one of the signs of alcoholism?, you might be thinking to yourself. Well, FUCK YOU. HOW DARE YOU. How dare you label me and jump to conclusions like that. What kind of friend are you? I think I'll have to reconsider this friendship. Your out of control judments are no way to strengthen our bond. Calm yourself. |
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